I know I keep getting my hopes up every night that I will go into labor. I keep thinking that "This is the night." Last night Will and I even tried one of the "tried and true" methods of induction. heh heh. But all it did was give me a few more hours of painful contractions, that went away about midnight.
Today I am going to the midwife to try stripping my membranes. I really want to get this all over with. The anxiety that I feel is becoming overwhelming and I know that once I start in labor I can let go- because I was so there on Tuesday night. I was ready, I felt calm about all of it. I was totally at peace with her birth. Then it didn't happen and once again I was stressed out the next day.
Will doesn't understand this anxiety. He is anxious, in his own way. I know its going to be hard on him, but he will be great.
If the stripped membranes don't work, we will try *gasp!* castor oil next. (PLEASE let this work!!! I do not want diarrhea!) Midwife wanted to know if I wanted to try both at the same time (strip membranes and start castor oil....) I figure I will give the first a try for a while before putting my POOR bottom through that. It still can't be as bad as having to be hooked to a monitor while being fed pitocin, right? I do not like that idea at all.
Rhayn has this doll- her name is Squish Baby.
She is one of those dolls that is like a balloon inside. You can fill her with more or less air (hence the squish.) Its cute, because Rhayn has to sleep with her, she gets her ready to go (even packing a "bye-per bag" for her sometimes.) This is her best friend. She didn't have any loveys as a toddler, Squish Baby came along much later.