Why can I not stop thinking about cheesy hashbrowns? Its getting a bit annoying really! I am getting ready to go to teh kitchen and make them for the 10th day in a row (I think.)
Last night I dreamt that Will took Rhayn to the barber and they cut her hair off like a boy cut- or a chelsea. She still had a bit of bangs, but the back was only an inch long. I was getting my hair dyed at the same time. I was trying to get highlights- it was all I wanted. The stylist, however thought I needed RED hair. My hair is red enough for me. I like red, when I am feeling very outgoing and social. I just haven't been feeling that way for months.
It was Birth Circle night last night, too. I felt so out of place and uncomfortable for most of the night. I don't know why- maybe its because I hadn't been in such a long time? Or maybe I just didn't feel connected because there were so many women. I like the idea of a much smaller group getting together. There were so many people I really didn't get to connect with anyone. There was only a few ladies that I felt like I wanted to connect with. I think maybe I will try to get ahold of them because I want to surround myself with a good support system. Its too bad that I felt that way, I really could use that wonderful feeling of support and love that I felt at the first few cirles I went to.
There were also women who are due in November that looked twice as pregnant as I do. I don't know how that makes me feel- less pregnant? I know its good because I DO look pregnant finally and I definatly FEEL pregnant. Maybe I just need to relax and let my body and baby grow and do the work it needs to. I need to stop worrying about what everyone thinks. Pam (midwife) thinks I am growing jsut fine, so why do I worry so much?!
I think I had better go and eat my cheesy hashbrowns now. So I can stop obsessing!
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