I know its mostly hormones, but I am really feeling depressed. I feel unwanted and like I may as well not be around.

I should just go to bed, because its obvious to me that Will doesn't want to "hang out" with me. He is watching the same stupid Star Trek Voyager episode he has tried to watch 3 times, and I watched the whole boring double episode last night, and I told him it was boring. So why does he keep putting it in? He says its because he wants to watch all of it, well we have nearly 7 full seasons of Voyager, so its not like we are lacking things to watch, if ST is what he's in the mood for. (We also own the entire Next Generation series, and all of the movies, including the horrendous Insurrection... ugh.) But he is watching that same episode, again. Its very irritating and it seems like he doesn't even want me around, unless a certain part of his body it feeling frisky.

I am sure this is mostly hormones... I just thought that after that first night, when he did actually come upstairs and sleep in our bed, that he was going to start doing that more regularly. I like it when he sleeps by me. He hardly ever does- he sleeps on our couch. It isn't a fight, its just because its hot in our room and I won't let him have the tv loud enough for the neighbors to hear it (being part deaf, he has to turn the volume up to a level I can not sleep to.) So what is the use of having someone to snuggle with, when a good snuggle is hardly ever doable? I just don't know.

We went to see the fireworks tonight, it was ok. No big deal, but Rhayn was wowed. The way a 4 year old should be.
I just wish I felt excited about anything.
I am just in such a funk today. I think maybe tomorrow I will see if Will will watch Rhayn and I can go see a movie, alone. That would be such a luxury... and so good since Rhayn has been attached to me for nearly 2 straight weeks. We'll see. I just need something...

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