stupid stupid

I think I am getting my period today. I should have known. my breasts have hurt for a week (over 1 full week! nearly 9 days, ouch!) I have had to wear a sports bra to combat pain. It is miserable!
I am so depressed about all of this. I feel like my body has let me down again. I know it has nothing to do with me, its no one's fault we aren't pregnant yet... its just not time. But letting go and letting God is proving to be more difficult this month that it has been. I think its because I was so sure that we caught the eggie this month. The only thing to do is wait, I am having little cramps, and I know that in a few hours they will be big ones. Its good being more in touch with my body than before. I know the tell tale signs of the red wave making its way to my door. I know when I will begin.
I am getting better, from some illness and its been making me cranky as well as having PMS the past few days. I really hope that I can get rest this weekend and feel more refreshed by Monday. I will only have one kiddo next week, so it won't be as chaotic as this week has been I am SO glad that I only have 3 weeks before I am done. (Thank goodness! its too much stress!)

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