I am seriously considering surgery to  "fix" my back. I recently had a follow up MRI to check my slippage. Since April 2017 my L5  has moved and I know I'm having more pain. And it looks like L4 might be moving as well.

Today I was cooking dinner, I had been standing up in the kitchen for 30 minutes and suddenly it felt like the outside of my right leg was covered in goose bumps (there were none!) That was 3 hours ago and my leg still feels wrong. I keep having strange sensations up and down it. I took a hot bath hoping for relief, but even while I was in there I could feel the nerve pain, like pouring  burning coffee down my leg.

Ever since I read my MRI results I've been feeling so afraid. I was sort of ok before that. But I feel depressed and miserable.

I know Will is 100% supportive of surgery because he knows I don't make these choices lightly, and he had known people who've had similar life altering surgeries with excellent results.

But I'm afraid, still. It is surgery. It isn't a guaranteed fix. My Dr said I have an  80% chance of relief because my pain is mostly nerve pain. And there is a long recovery period. That's scary.

But feeling like this for the rest of my life is scary, too. I said if there was changes in the MRI I would really look into surgery, because what's the likelihood it will continue to get worse? How likely am I to eventually get to the point of not being able to walk more than 5 minutes?

Making this choice is difficult. I wish there was a sure fire way to make the right one. But I'll spend the next month researching.

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