Strength is a good thing,
until it is not enough.
I feel like I am not enough.
I am not enough.
I am not good enough.

I have no control over my life.
I have no control over anything in my life.
not my emotions,
not my children,
not my husband.
not my parents and their health.
 I have no control.

Instead of  being able to deal,
I am breaking.
my walls, carefully built over years,
crumbling unable to support
unable to calm
unable to protect.

and I am
left vulnerable
vulnerable to thoughts
ideas and pictures
and I am not
in a good place at all.

The Darkness envelopes me,
covers my soul
lying, smoothly in my ear
whispering evil thoughts
and making me believe things
things a few months ago I would never have thought.
and I'm left with the Darkness's lies.
Lies.
lies
LIES
I tell myself they are simply lies,
I can't believe myself because the Darkness
it lies so well that I believe it.
I believe it.
I believe
the lies.