20140818

It's quiet at the moment. Though last night was anything but.
Natalie woke at a bit before 10, crying uncontrollably. Sometimes this means she needs to go pee. But that didn't stop her fit. In fact it lasted 45 minutes.
At the end she collapsed into my bed, face puffy from crying so hard. Abi was snuggled on my left, Natalie sleep sobbing on my right as I fell into sleep.

It was the end of another very long day.
This deployment has been really rough on us. It's a short one, and sometimes that makes it harder. Not enough time to get into a routine. And not short enough for us to not be in a routine.

Natalie is missing her daddy terribly. She looks for him out of the window, thinking that every car she hears will be him.

The older two have been through this, they know he'll be home soon. But it's difficult for Natalie to understand.

I need a moment to myself, but it doesn't happen. By the end of each day I feel so tightly wound that I snap at the kids. The nightly storms we've been having mirror how I feel inside.

Less than 2 weeks to go. Right before he left, I told him this one would be hard, because living here, I've come to rely on him so much more. I enjoy his company, I like how our life runs. This is exactly how it should be.




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