I know that it is a normal part of life and living. Death will come to us all at some point or another. But as I sit here snuggling my newest child, watching her sleep suck and as her eyelids flutter, I can't imagine death.

Yet these last few weeks I have lost two people in my extended family. Two people that I didn't know very well. My Father-in-law I had only met a few times. I had had conversations over coffee with him while he stayed at our house in Phoenix. I hadn't seen him in years. For him I feel a great sense of sadness that my girls will never get to know their grandpa. Abby and Natalie never even met him. I am still not even sure how to feel about that.

And this morning my mom texted to let us know that my Aunt Pam passed peacefully this morning. I've known her my whole life. She always had the most beautiful houses, her children are wonderful people and have always been part of my life. her death doesn't directly affect me, but it does. It makes me sad because it is death. She had grandchildren who will no longer get to see her.

I haven't cried.
I know eventually I will.

Our family has always been healthy, and yes there have been deaths over the years but not many of those close to me (not since I was a young child and both of my grandpas died from heart attacks). Our family on Earth grew and grew. But now it is getting slowly smaller. Slowly we're losing members. Now of course, we all know this will happen. Accepting it is really hard.

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