Remember back when I used to write newsletters to you every month? No? Well you can't read yet so that makes sense. But lets just say, there was a time in your life that I chronicled everything you did and said, just so I wouldn't forget. I love that I did that. I love to read back over the early days and months and years of your life. But its been a long time since I wrote a letter to you.
Today you turned five, one whole hand, the last year to be counted on just one hand. Five. I can not believe how time has flown.
A few days ago we spent some time cleaning your bedroom. You love it when it is clean, but can't seem to keep it that way. Oh well, you were 4, how much can I expect from you? Well you told me that you wanted to sleep in there, and the past few nights you do go in and stay for a short while. Your fear of the dark an utter dislike of being alone makes you climb into bed with me soon after you "try" to sleep in there. I know eventually you will sleep in your own bed and it will be bittersweet for me. On a side note, since I don't remember mentioning it on here, you have been diaper-free at night for almost a month now. At first you clung to the diapers like a lovey, but soon it was perfectly fine to sleep without them. You will even wake in the night to use the toilet if you need to.
Last night we were laying in my bed, after reading a story, talking. I told you I needed big hugs from my four year old, and how excited I was that you would turn 5. Your response was "I want to stay 4." Yes, you admitted that you wanted your birthday, but you would prefer to stay 4 and not turn 5. I think maybe we've put too much emphasis on how 5 is a big deal. I asked you why you wanted to stay 4 and you told me that you wanted to stay with me forever. Its sweet, and I know that you are a little nervous about being a big sister, too. I only hope you know that growing up is not a bad thing at all.
I woke up this morning with a migraine. Fun. It ruined my plans for our day. I haven't moved much from the couch. Luckily for you, Daddy was home for most of the day. But lets get back to the morning.
Rhayn was excited to give you a gift she had lovingly made for you. Its a doll that she sewed and stuffed all on her own. She also gave you a dollar (but said it was from "The Monster"). She is thoughtful in that way, but that is a whole other post. You were excited to get to open a gift. You mom (the serious slacker) didn't get anything for you. Money is tight and I haven't had any real time without you by my side for a while.
We came home and watched PBS Kids for a while this morning. You love to watch Elmo, but your favorite shows are Dinosaur Train and Martha Speaks. We don't watch tv much, but I needed it this morning and so it turned into a special birthday treat.
Daddy took you out for lunch. You, of course, chose McDonald's. Then he took you to Target to pick out a small gift. I really think that this made your day. Daddy picked Rhayn up from school and took her to ballet practice. I am grateful for this, but it was a tad bit disappointing because when you thought Daddy was staying home (and I was doing pick-up) you wanted to stay home. Instead when you found out that he was getting Rhayn, you immediately changed your mind and chose to go. I should have known better, since you were one year old you have preferred him over me almost every single time.
Its evening now. The day is nearly complete. Once again I look back over the past 5 years, and see how much you have grown and am amazed by you.
With all the love in me,