I finally have an appointment with another counselor. Although I loved the guy I was seeing while Will was gone, he was really just respite care. I need serious help. I feel like there is nothing right with me. At the moment I am so depressed all I want to do is sleep, instead I have a list of things I need to do today and am trying to complete some of it. I already have a couple of items crossed off. Is that making me feel better? Um, no, that is why I am writing on here.

Everywhere I look in the house is a mess. I had a panic attack about it all on Wednesday, complete with inability to take deep enough breaths and a feeling of utter doom. It lasted for hours, too. Came and went all day. But I can't seem to get on top of it.

I need a moment to myself, for what I don't know. Lets hope that talking to someone will help me better deal with these feelings, because it seems they come more and more often. And with greater severity each time.

Lets see if I can pull my head out of my butt long enough to talk about the cuteness that was Gwennie on the piano. She doesn't pound on it, and instead of listening to crappy music while on hold with the dental insurance company, I had her lovely background music. And Rhayn was singing so nicely in the car on the way to school that I turned the radio off and listened to her.

Trying to see good things when you feel like a zombie is hard. But it helps.