23 Months Old

Dearest Gwennie,

In one month you will be two years old. I have been working on you with holding up two fingers to show how old you are. So far you just don’t seem to get it, but I have a month to help you figure it out. Time has slipped by so quickly, it seems like you just turned one, and here we are, at the cusp of two. Before I know it you will be in kindergarten, and not home with me all day. Am I making the most of my time with you? I try, I spend a lot more of my time engaging with you than I did with Rhayn. I didn’t realize how precious this time is when she was two. I just went on with life, and didn’t stop and really listen to her. You tell me stories, did she? I have no idea, because her speech was so much different than yours is. I can only say that I feel like I have kept track of you so much better. I have written down the silly things you do and say so much more than I did with her. Most of all, I appreciate this time with you so much more than I did with her.

You have become quite social recently. We were at a hotel and you kept introducing us. You would point at Daddy “Is DaDa!” then at me “Is Mommy!” and Rhayn “Dih-Der” and sometimes you call her “Nay Non.” At Rhayn’s school you told a friend of mine “Mine Dada is Gone” because he is out of town for the week. You walk around telling people that “Nay Non at Cool!” (Rhayn is at school.) The animation in your face as you say that is comical. Your eyebrows pop up as you say "Nay Non" drawing the two syllables out, and then your mouth gets very round while you say "at" and it becomes a small o to say "cool." I am so impressed by your vocabulary. It seems that every day you add so many new words, and I can barely keep up.

This week brought your first days of a day care situation. I think that you liked it, but also it worried you. Once again, it was harder on your mom that it was on you. The first day of it, you barely noticed that we left. We picked you up for lunch and when we dropped you back off they had a TV on, and your blanket lay right in front of it on the floor. You walked in and stood on the blanket, zoned on the TV long enough that we could slip away. When I picked you up at four, you were sleeping on someone. One of the people there was kind enough to hold you as you slept, she also said you cried about “my mama” until you basically cried yourself to sleep. I know that they were good care workers, because one of the others walked an infant around in a mei tei when she was fussing. The second day, you cried and clung to pant legs. But you did not seem traumatized when I picked you up. I guess you would be alright if I needed to take you to day care, but I feel so blessed that I do not have to.

This newsletter is sentimental. I normally would try to play it off on hormones, but my period just ended (I am so sure you wanted to hear about that.) Its not hormones, I think it is the realization that your babyhood is fast coming to a close. Soon you will be not just a toddler, but a kid and then a “tween” and then a teenager, and before I have had time to fully adjust, you will be an adult. I just hope that in all of that time, I let you know how much I love you and your sister. I hope that you understand the choices we make for you, and appreciate the things that we have done and will do for you. I am sure as a teenager you won’t. (It hasn’t been long enough for me to fully forget those tumultuous teen years just yet.) But when you are an adult, and you look back at your childhood, I hope you see the love and caring we put into raising you.

I love you,

Your mama

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