I live a secret double life.
See, none of you know about it, because its to secret. Well actually you all are a part of it.
Today we went to watch Rhayn’s daddy play cricket with his co workers. Fun, huh? It actually was, because I have never watched a cricket match, and he had never really played. Will sad they didn’t have enough players for a true match. We sat at a park and I met some of his co-workers. Those people who call him by his real name. They introduce themselves “hi I am *Karen, *Mike’s wife.” I stutter, “I am Leaner, ‘his’ wife.” And it sounds weird. It is wrong. I am so unused to his real name that it feels strange and difficult rolling off of my tongue. It’s an alias. But really Will is the wrong name; it’s a nickname, a teenage nickname. But it’s the name I was introduced to, it’s the name I fell in love with. I don’t know that other person. I only pretend to be married to him.
See my secret double life? He lives it, too. Only I think it is easier for him, because he hears both names interchangeably throughout the day. I read his real name at the bottom of emails that is the only place I really see it. The Army, well that calls him by our surname.
Should we all just stop calling him Will? Should I try to stop the nickname? Is it too late to leave this double life behind? I think so, I think adjusting to his real name would be hard, and its hard on Rhayn, she knows her daddy as Will, my family all knows him as Will. His brother and that part of the family calls him Will. He is WILL.
So I will continue in my secret double life, I will just giggle inside when I have to say his real name, that fake sounding one. Because it’s not him. He is Will. And I love Will.
*names changed because I can't remember the name of the wife I met... geesh.