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Are you scared of the dark?

Army weekend, it’s the worst. I feel alone, and sad. I jump at little noises. I freak myself out on a hourly basis. BOOM Boom Boom BOOM
What was that?! AHH!
Oh, yeah it’s the rodeo that is across the street, duh.
Thump thump thum-thump-thud.
What was that?!
Oh duh, it’s the cats playing upstairs.
Geesh.

I am one of those people who freak out and then try to calmly explain my freak out. Like this, I know its nothing, these are familiar sounds. I hear them nearly every day. So why when I am alone do they scare me? Is it that natural instinct? The thing in my brain that tells me that I need to be with others, its safer with others, better to never be alone? Is it one too many horror movies and their sick images that I have no problem recalling while sitting alone in the dark?
See, now I am getting myself worked up FOR NO REASON!

I will be calm I will be calm I will.

I worry that my little freak outs are what is causing Rhayn to be afraid of the dark. She wasn’t until a year ago. She has always been “Danger Girl.” She feared nothing. Now she is a girly girl and has lots of fears. But then again… it could just be growing up. And Bug? She is scared of the dark too. Like when we ride in the car? Yeah, that is a scared of the dark baby.

Will isn’t. He doesn’t freak out when he looks in the mirror, or when he has to pee while camping. (One of my least favorite things to do, pee in the dark woods!)

Ok, now I am getting all worked up again, how silly.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Calm again.


4 comments:

tif-do said...

Scared of the dark? No, I'm not. I'm not one to freak easy. People often freak me out though. Being in a large group of people, like the mall or a crowed room, or lines at Disneyland. That freaks me out. I guess we all have something. I have one son that's afraid of the dark, and one that loves it, One who won't be alone, and one who could care less. So I don't think it affects your kids how you are, because they are who they are.

leaner said...

lucky you,not being afraid of the dark.
Will has that people thing, though. He hates walmart because he feels surrounded there. We only shop at Target because the aisles are wider. He also doesn't do malls and Disneyland almost killed him. Costco on the weekend is bad, too.

Alex's Human said...

I sometimes get freaked out when I come home from work at 2:30 in the morning.. When I open the front door the first thing I look for is Trevor. I leave Alex in while I'm at work, but she'd let anyone come in. But Trevor hides the second anyone comes over. If I open the door and Trev's there to greet me, I know all is safe.. It's his only purpose in life. The only thing that keeps him here when I'm tired of cleaning the cat box...

Pen-nut said...

Well, I'm scared of the dark and large crowds of people. So, I guess I'm really a case. Of course I have one son who gets really freaked out by things. Scary stories, scary movies, even not so scary ones. And another that enjoys taking girls out on dates and scaring them.

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