Army weekend, it’s the worst. I feel alone, and sad. I jump at little noises. I freak myself out on a hourly basis. BOOM Boom Boom BOOM
What was that?! AHH!
Oh, yeah it’s the rodeo that is across the street, duh.
Thump thump thum-thump-thud.
What was that?!
Oh duh, it’s the cats playing upstairs.
I am one of those people who freak out and then try to calmly explain my freak out. Like this, I know its nothing, these are familiar sounds. I hear them nearly every day. So why when I am alone do they scare me? Is it that natural instinct? The thing in my brain that tells me that I need to be with others, its safer with others, better to never be alone? Is it one too many horror movies and their sick images that I have no problem recalling while sitting alone in the dark?
See, now I am getting myself worked up FOR NO REASON!
I will be calm I will be calm I will.
I worry that my little freak outs are what is causing Rhayn to be afraid of the dark. She wasn’t until a year ago. She has always been “Danger Girl.” She feared nothing. Now she is a girly girl and has lots of fears. But then again… it could just be growing up. And Bug? She is scared of the dark too. Like when we ride in the car? Yeah, that is a scared of the dark baby.
Will isn’t. He doesn’t freak out when he looks in the mirror, or when he has to pee while camping. (One of my least favorite things to do, pee in the dark woods!)
Ok, now I am getting all worked up again, how silly.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.