Love Lost

How hard it must be, to be alone in this world. How hard after having a love, a partner, your soul mate and losing them. I can’t imagine.

The girls and I were eating at In and Out Thursday, and there were two old couples next to us. They seemed so happy; joking with each other; the one man even held his wife’s aged hand. The men got drinks and the women sat and talked to Rhayn and Bug. It was nice, and reminded me of days gone by when we went on vacations with Grandma, and visited her friends. But there was always a person missing at those meetings.  There were no men. Grandma has plenty of women friends who have lost husbands over the years, they are left living alone. They have lost their best friends, and I can not imagine how hard it must be to pick up the pieces of that life and move on. One day your life is perfect, a wonderful partner, someone to share your bed, and your arms, your thoughts, your worries, your joys. You never really feel alone, because there is a person at home that you can turn to for any little thing. Then one day it all changes and you are left alone, you wonder why your love has to be gone, you may even wish it was you.

I thought of Will, as I sat there watching these old men and their beautiful wives. I thought about how I hope our future is. He comes from a long line of men who live to an old age and I come from a line of old women. So maybe we’ll have a chance to be that old couple. Maybe we’ll buy a Winnebago and travel the country in our old age. Maybe we will travel to Europe and see the sights. Maybe we will sit on our front porch, surrounded by nature and enjoy cups of coffee while we talk or don’t talk. I just hope that we get to grow old together.

All I know is that I want to hold him a little closer right now, and tell him how much he means to me.