I have finally come to some decisions. They were hard to do, but I think this is best for me, for Will and for our family.
The only way to GUARANTEE that Will can be here for the birth is to take steps that I was originally not willing to take.
We have decided to induce labor, we will try rupturing membranes at home, at 2 am. The midwife and I are going to walk and do everything we can to get labor started and going good. If by 6:30 am nothing is happening, then we are going to the hospital.
I was against all of this, but as the days came closer and Will's Army drill looms on the horizon... We had to decide what to do.
This is funny, because I feel more at peace about all of this than I have in weeks. I don't know if its because I now KNOW that Will is going to be there, or if its just the right decision and God is letting me know. Maybe this was the push I needed to really allow myself to let go, I really don't know, the biggest thing is that I am ready, and calm. Now if I can get a little sleep.
I feel at peace. Calm. Better. Finally.