20050710

Indulgence

Ah, it is so nice to lay in bed until 9 am.
I think I pretty much dozed on and off from about 7:15 when Rhayn tried to wake me up with her sweet little voice, "Mommy its morning time!"
I rolled over and looked at the clock, trying to make out the numbers through sleepy eyes.
"Yes, but mommy is going to sleep a little longer."
Every 10 minutes or so, she would ask me if I would get up yet. I kept replying the same thing. Until about 8:45 when I realized that if I didn't get my lazy butt out of bed, well I would never get anything done today.

I finally feel rested this morning. I haven't been able to fall asleep easily, laying there in bed trying not to think about this baby, trying not to think of the millions of things I want to get done in the next 11 weeks. Hoping that this baby will stay put until then and maybe even be late so I can have an October baby (I LOOVE opals- I don't know why, but sapphires are pretty, too. So if she comes on time no biggie.) I lay there thinking about how good of a big sister Rhayn will be. She carries her dolls around the house playing mommy, and telling me "SHH! The baby is sleeping." I can not believe how much of a big girl she is!

Then I finally start to doze off and Rhayn will have a bad dream, or wake up and be disoriented enough to not be sure that she needs to potty. I check on her, or if she is wandering, guide her to the bathroom. After she is done, I pick her up and put her back in bed. Then the wondering starts all over.

Maybe I should give up on sleeping at night, and just get up and clean the house, organize closets, or something. But I don't want to be up at night, I want to get up in the morning with Will and spend 15 minutes or so with him before he has to go to work. I like our morning time, sitting there- drinking coffee, or having a bowl of cereal. I like that. I enjoy our time at night, too. When he doesn't fall asleep before 8 pm. When Rhayn is in bed and we have time to sit and talk or cuddle. I think its the most important time of the day for our relationship.

Things are going to change when this buggaboo gets here. I know it will, everything is going to take adjustments and work. Its all been so easy the past few months with Rhayn- my big girl.

Because "Big girls do it by their own!!!"

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