I am trying to avoid the dark places. I am trying to stay positive in our world even surrounded by awful things happening.
Just a few days ago, on the 2nd, a man was riding his dirt bike at dusk , just before 6pm, and collided with a Chevy SUV, the neighborhood came out and attempted to save his life, keeping the road clear, waiting on the ambulance, talking to him, telling him to hang on as he lay in the road bleeding.

In the end, it wasn't enough, and he passed away at the hospital (though likely was only kept alive by CPR on the way). He died, directly in front of my house, his blood, the fluids from his dirt bike, still stain the pavement. His family and friends put up a memorial for him. My heart breaks thinking about his children, especially his son, who was in a car accident a few weeks before where one of the passengers, a 16 year old, perished. My heart aches for the woman who was driving the SUV, because she didn't see his dirt bike, because it had no light. Forever she will feel the way her vehicle felt when the dirt bike hit it. I will forever remember that loud bang pop sound. The way I could ALMOST feel it. I have cried for him, for his kids, for his friends and family. The more I learn about him, the more I know he will be missed.

I mourn that loss of innocence my kids have, knowing that a man died there. And I can still see the EMTs working on him for so long, taking turns, trying to bring him back. Even though they knew that he was gone. I wish I could have done something. Anything.

But there is nothing.
Nothing.


And eventually I hope I feel better.