I really hope that by next year I'm not stuck in this land of depression any more. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I'm about to snap.
I know I need to do a few things, like turn of my device and step away from computers and tv. I know that will help.
But then I'm in pain if I do too much, so I find myself back on my phone, on my butt on my chair in front of the tv.

I hate the way I feel. I don't want to have this sinking feeling anymore. I can't even put it into words, because I'm so lost.

Anxious.
Scared.
Worried.
Nervous.
Apprehensive.
So many other words that mean the same thing.

I know I'm making the right choice with surgery. But it doesn't make me me afraid.