20120806

Scattered Thoughts

There are days when I must stop, take a deep breath, and remind myself that I am helping form people. The things I say and do affect them forever. These girls will grow up and move away someday. I will be left with the memories of things I said and did.

I watch and listen to them. I hear the mean things I sometimes say in frustration coming out of their mouths. I want to put myself in a timeout. I need to remember that the mean words they say mostly come from me.

I need to be aware that these babes are people and someday they will grow up.

Why have I given them? What skills have I taught them that will best help them? Sometimes I think that they get the good stuff from their dad, his work ethics, this CAN DO! attitude. I say "I can't" far more than I should. I will say it, then take a moment before I do whatever it was I just said "I can't do". Why? What is that teaching my children?

I know they see me doing things around the house, sure I can tear out a wall and rehang drywall, and fix plumbing. They see that girls can do anything boys can do. I can bake bread and sew and knit and snuggle and read them books.

And I have to remind myself that sometimes that is enough.

2 comments:

Victoria @ Mommy Marginalia said...

I know exactly what you mean about hearing angry words from a little mouth that you realize originated from you! As I continue to work on my own patience, I think the best lesson I can give my little one is saying I am sorry when he's seen me let frustration get the better of me. Because he gets frustrated - a lot - and is learning to apologize. And if I were perfect in my composure all the time, he wouldn't have me as a role model to learn humility and forgiveness. At least that's what I tell myself in my less-than-perfect moments . . .

Kim Corrigan-Oliver said...

It isn't easy being a mom is it? I keep in mind that this journey is one of learning for me, and on it I have grown and changed. I am not perfect and never will be, but I can say sorry and let my little man know I will do better next time. And then next time I do better.

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