I am starting to wonder if maybe there is something wrong with me. I spend far too much time day dreaming. So many crazy things have happened lately, including putting offers in on houses in Sierra Vista, so I sit and ponder what will happen later if x, y, z happens first. I imagine moving sooner than the end of the semester.

I love the school our girls go to, and they love it as well, but I am so ready for the next phase of our life. I am ready to move into our new home (when we get one) and start fixing it up and living our life. I am ready to see my city girls become country bumpkins, covered in dirt and dust and wearing wranglers.

Yesterday there was an accident at the girls school. It was the annual Michaelmas Festival, and after the children all went through an obstacle course there was a performance. The early childhood, preschool and kinder, were in their classes, as there is a dragon and they feel some of the performances are a little scary for the wee ones. I kept walking back and forth between the performances and Gwennie's class. There is a point when one of the grades comes out wearing a dragon costume , think Chinese New Year dragon, and its usually really neat. Only the piano that they had up on the "stage" tipped over and landed on a student. She started screaming and for a short time there was chaos, though things were quickly taken care of. Emergency services were called and the girl was taken away in an ambulance a short time later.

But a piano fell on her. Imagine if it had been one the kindergarteners? Imagine if... and yes my mind has imagined a million scenarios. Not fun. But I thought I was fine with it. I mean, she'll live, her leg will eventually heal.

So why did I keep waking up last night hearing her screaming?

And even today, I feel numb. There were a lot of people closer to her and the incident, I was about fifteen feet away and I only heard the piano fall and the cacophony. I picture the fast action of Rhayn's teacher, grabbing one of the mom's (who is a doctor) out of the crowd before most of the people even had time to realize what had happened. In my mind I play it over and over. But why? I feel stupid. Yes it was scary, yes someone was hurt. No I don't even know who she is. I'm sure I've seen her around, its a small school.

Last night's poor sleep is making today difficult. I feel like a living dead girl.

I think tonight shall be an early night.


tif-do said...

I think that the anticipation of change is always worse than the actual change. Once your there you move on with your life, but the time before it all you stress about every thing. I hope this all goes so smoothly for you. I so imagine all of you in the country: crafting, gardening, raising small animals???

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry that happened. It sounds awful. I'm glad to hear everything is going to be alright, and I'm glad the little ones weren't out there to hear the chaos.

If it helps any, it would totally bother me. I don't like random scary things happening to kids, it's too close to my biggest fear.

Bodaat said...

oh my goodness, i would be traumatized too.

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