20090701

What do you do with a lying three year old? How do you get them to understand that lying is not ok? Rhayn has a friend over and Gwennie bit her. When I asked her "Did you bite Rhayn?" She looked at me and said "No." Rhayn showed me the teeth marks. So I aksed Gwennie again "Did you bite Rhayn, yes or no?" "No."

N0w she is sitting in the chair, wailing like a banshee, because I swatted her on the butt and am making her sit. I am tired of her. I am tired of the fighting. Sometimes the girls are so good, and its easy to forget that they need guidance, just like the puppy with house training. I can't just let them be andignore the behaviours it will only get worse then.

4 comments:

BrieP said...

when you figure out the lying can you tell me because I would really like to know what to do.

mom911 said...

Ooohhh, lying is such a delicate issue at this age. You really want to drive home the fact that lying is unacceptable, but you also have to maintain the balance for them to *want* to tell you the truth not being too scared of the consequences of the initial misbehavior. Kids just need to know that they WILL make mistakes and bad choices, but lying will ALWAYS make it worse in the long run. Just not worth it.

BTW - I remember you from MM and I enjoy your blog. :-)
~Stephanie

bodaat said...

i think you did the right thing sister! i went through a stage of compulsive lying when i was a young'in and finally realized i was getting nowhere with that tactic. and now? i hate lying with a passion! so even if it gets worse, it will eventually get better. :)

HomegrownTexan said...

We've had to deal with this a little bit with our youngest, I think when he was around that age (maybe a bit older). I always struggled with how to deal with wanting them to tell the truth *no matter what*, without getting roped into giving them a "free pass" if they did tell. If it's something minor that's not a recurring problem, they may get a warning if they fess up. If it's a big deal (I'd consider biting a big deal) they still get the punishment for that, but lots of praise for telling. And I make it clear that they would have gotten way more if they had lied about it.

If they lie, they get the punishment for both the lie and what they lied about. And even if it's about something small, I pretty much make sure the world comes to an end for them if they lie. They learned pretty quickly that lying only makes things a zillion times worse.

Also when I'm asking them, I make sure I stress "I really want to know the truth, even if you think it's bad or something I don't want to hear". I remember reading somewhere that around that age, they are still trying to do what pleases you (I know, doesn't always match with the crap they pull, right?) and will sometimes lie because it's what they think you want them to hear. I wasn't so sure, but I did notice I started getting the truth out a bit more easily if I made it clear that it was the truth I was after.

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