I had a fun night. Lots of laughter, good company (for the most part) and decent food. So why then do I feel so lonely? And why for the first time, do I just feel like I will never see Will again. I mean Wednesday isn't that far away, not really. Why does it truly feel like an eternity to me? Why does every breath seem to make him farther away instead of closer. Every time I open my email, I hold my breath waiting to see if he has written, I wait to see if there is anything that will keep him away longer. But every time I don't have something my heart falls a little more.

i want to talk,
to someone,
to write something,
but there isn't
anything to say.
just the same words
over and over.
the same statement,
over and over.
the same thought,
over and over.
a reminder to
breath, and again
breath, and again
breath. don't stop.
never stop
never forget
keep going
walk, talk, think
no don't think
its painful
it makes me crazy
and i only want to,
to be with him
and for now
it is the only thing
i can't have.
the one thing
that makes me-
feel so lonely.
without him.