I am flooded with feelings right now.
There is excitement about our reunion coming up.
Fear about Rhayn starting school in the fall, and college and well, a million things that are just weighing down on me.
Sadness but I am not sure where its coming from our why.
Let down, again not sure why. I just feel like I am missing out on something.
And insomnia?
Last night our dear baby kept waking up. I think it was around 2 or 3 am and it lasted close to 2 hours. She would doze off and suddenly start kicking and wiggling and rolling while she tried to sit up. I would lay her down and nurse her or snuggle her, but she would repeat it just as I was falling back to sleep. You would THINK that after that I would be exhausted right now and my eyes would be drooping. Yet here I sit, unable to fully let go of the day. Why? What is going on in my mind that is so important that it can not wait.
I made my first pouch today. Actually I made two of them. I decided I would try out the pattern on Reverend Jan's site first while making a child sized pouch for Rhayn. It worked beautifully. I had a borrowed pouch from TLC, and it just didn't fit right, and after research I found out its just too big for me. So I made Rhayn's and then my own. Which I put Bug in immediately and she and I both agree it fits MUCH better than the NNBC (at least now that Bug sits up and isn't just nestled in so peacefully. Was she ever that small?) I am stoked because I like the ease of the pouch and I can easily throw it on whenever. I am also ordering an ellaroo rebozo.
I saw one in person and it was lovely. Also its through a co-op so not going to be quite as pricey. Haha, I love my carriers, I really wish I had had them with Rhayn. We only had a crappy snugli, which I only used like 3 times. Bug is always in a sling or pouch or ABC, and she is so happy about it. She gets excited when I go to throw her on my back! I adore carrying her, and hey- its given me very good muscle tone in my arms!
Now my eyes are getting droopy, finally- hopefully I will rest my head on the pillow and be out in minutes. Wish me luck!
(I did a spell check and apparently I wrote "restmy" as one word, blogger suggested maybe I meant "rectum"? That is great!)
1 comment:
TLC and I have a mutual friend (who is also an apprentice midwife and has had 2 homebirths)who went crazy with slings and baby carriers when she had her first baby. she has something like 15 different carriers. she's written up this excellent informational/review sheet about each one. she hands it out to her clients. when crispin and eamon were brand new babes she came for a visit with all 15 carriers and modeled for us for like an hour! if you keep it up, you'll be like her in no time! : )
(she even had one of those slings made of netting so you can where baby in the shower!)
at any rate, i'm sorry you're anxious. you might try homeopathic Coffea Cruda~ it's description is something like, "For an active, restless mind". AND, you can give it to your kids very safely. It doesn't make you drowsy, it just seems to let you fall asleep when you need to. we use it a lot in this house for dumb mamas who have java at 7pm or for restless kids who've had sugar too late or are just giddy from lots of play. i totally get insomnia when i'm stressed (as my blog would indicate!)
best
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