20051010

Private thoughts?


I feel so much better today! I really felt like death yesterday. That headache was miserable, and the fever/chills, horrid! I have never felt like that before!

I am so mad, because some how the stupid "shortcut" buttons on the keyboard have lost what I was typing. Without knowing it, I went back two screens, I tried to go forward again, but NO, my long post was lost... So I will try to retype it. The above was a post that I started this morning, but someone was hungry, so I had to feed her. I didn't get back here until now. Its been a long day.

Private Thoughts-

As a teenager I kept a journal, I was always writing down my thoughts and feelings. I also was deathly afraid someone would find that, and read it. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone reading my thoughts. I even once had a boyfriend who read my journal. (When I lived in Colorado, I kept it in my unlocked car- DUH, where anyone could get it, and he said I never told him anything, so he read it- all of it.) I felt so violated and upset. But really those thoughts would have been better off being said. Most of that dealt with him, and my feelings towards him. So why didn't I tell him? Why have I always felt so closed off?

Now, I write similar thoughts on here. The only real difference? I WANT people to read them. I want to know that I am not crazy. And because I want those around me, those who are important in my life to KNOW ME, to really know me, the person inside. I like myself now, and I think that makes a WORLD of difference.

4 comments:

Dream Girl said...

I was not for this but my friend has one and after talking to Lynda and my friend I decided to go for it. If I wrote down my past I would have a hug skeleton running around. Think I will leave my wild things in. I think back of all of the stupid things I did and sometime still do and it is scary. O well guess you only live once. Glad to hear you are feeling better. Think I will take a hot bath and go to bed. To much weekend for me.

lvh said...

LOL - I think we all have lots of things we don't want people reading or seeing. I remember when John and I were dating, he picked up my purse and was going to open it. I was so not happy about that so I bit him on the arm - left tooth marks too.

leaner said...

lvh- I would NEVER have guessed you to be a biter! LOL! That is so silly!

dream girl- so glad you are here! I think that we all have a skeleton or two hiding somewhere! (Lets not let them all out!)

Dream Girl said...

Leaner I will tell you some of my stupidness one of these days beofre I die. I need to have my sister get on here and then I would really be in trouble she is to crazy. Believe me I will not let mine out but it is getting so big I need to find a new hiding spot for it..LOL

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